Perth Carnival 2017 – Des Penmann Reserve, Nollamara

At last, the day had rolled though and it was time to party and like the Vengaboys, We like to party, we like to party…and have some fun. The bus list had been a moving target all week so after a few phone calls to work out who we might be leaving behind, we were off to Perth and a date with destiny.

We were appropriately excited to get to Perth so thundered past Treendale and had to put the skids on and double back to get Wal and Gunja. Unfortunately the extreme diversion had some impact on the chariot and we were blowing more steam than Kevin Rudd on election day. She’s safety first at Go West, so it was back to HQ where Stanley Victor himself was waiting to make sure we got back on the road as soon as possible. With the brakes released, we were back on the road and doing some rejigging of the social activities for the night as we would now miss the Gloucester Park races but if we are nothing, we know how to suck the marrow so don’t call the fun police just yet.

Big Chris had navigated the traffic and got us to The Kings Park Motel with it’s neon sign buzzing in the evening light. Kev had made friends with the staff and gathered all the keys so she was a quick in and out. Subiaco proved to be set up for retirees only as it was hard to get dinner being passed 9pm so in a desperate move, we headed to the casino for a good steak and with Maybs ordering drinks, it was top shelf whiskey n espresso martinis. The sports bar’s big screens caught our attention, then onto The Groove Bar which for those familiar with them at Crown casinos, rarely disappoint. So now she’s 2am and 40, Capt Jack, Deebs and Splinter having danced the night away and with a game that morning, it was time for most of us to call it to avoid giving the ambos something to do later that day. Shagga’s 4am videos were something to have your cornies with and surprisingly we all made it home to base, albeit being guilty of having Chumbawamba’s ‘pissing the night away’ as our sound track.

The Des Penmann Res in Nollamara greeted us with sunshine and a stiff breeze so we were hopeful that the swimming goggles might get put away. The league did a quick explanation of the day and a few boys (Zac, Fants, Reever etc) headed over to help the Fossils with a few fill ins. 11 o’clock ticked around and we were set to go with fire in our bellies and heads full of hope.

Game 1 – v Albany

The Vikings kicked into a strong wind and with retribution on our minds from being taken apart by a Craig Hall lead outfit last year, we went BANG x 6 to nothing and out to a lead that we hoped would be enough when the hangovers kicked in during the second half. Splinter and Shane Coenen were lively and banked a couple each. King Dog chipped in for a nice running goal and when Rowey snapped a beauty (followed by double strongman celebration which he just wasn’t quick enough to put down before Pearsy let him know exactly what he had just seen). Deebs bumped an Albany fellow over who hadn’t had a kick for a long time and the ambulance was called and his day was over. The second half was all Vikings as they plundered with the wind until Zac was able to mark on the line and goal. Dino’s by a couple of kicks.

Thanks to Zac and Maybs for umpiring this game.

The Busso boys were a little short so Reever and Shags gave them a hand just prior to the lunch break.

The lunchtime break brought back an old tradition of the sprint (Miller won one of these in the early days) and long kicking which was welcomed by all. Rolly represented the Dinos and ran a respectable 3rd place, good work Rolly. Splinter and Kingy represented the Dinos in the longest kick category. With bases loaded and two down, Splinter launched into a drop punt that sailed 65m with a helpful breeze but still….it was a mighty roost from Adam ‘Cannon’ Matthews.

After lunch we had a game gap so about half a doz of the boys went across and helped out the Waroona Demons. Well done fellas, great look for the club being able to do this.

Game 2 – v Carey Parkers

On the big field this game lived up to its billing and was my personal pick for quality on the day. The Pastimers had a few SW stars of the naughties on their roster so it was going to take a big effort across the team to get over them but we were on a large ground which usually meant game over for anyone keen to share the field with the boys from Jurassic Park. The game was an arm wrestle for both halves with Barbs, Rowey and Juice all doing their part to get the ball moving in our direction. Two ex-Dinos in Narks (he locked down on a north Korean despot) and Jonah were amongst their best and with trade negotiations between parties yet to be finalised, they did their new club no favours by turning it on. Barbs took a few hits to the head which would develop into a nice black eye by morning and in the end it was Past Times by a kick or two in a high quality game.

Game 3 – v Northampton Rams

This game was played on Tooth Pick Park so a complete contrast to the surface we just played on. Timbo Sparrow got to every ball up which was a great effort and in a nice change #23 got on the board in 2017 to avoid a goalless season but probably not escaping a review by the coaching panel. Northampton got their groove on and we were down by a couple of sausage rolls come half time but with the wind, we were confident we could as Sandy Roberts say, ‘set sail for home’. We gradually got there with a few singles but enough majors to get us home by half a dozen points.

So at this stage a more than solid evening and a 2 from 3 result on the field with an honorable loss…..we were on a roll and headed into the main event – Satdee night. Presentations went well with Splinter and Barbs picking up medals, Splinter grabbed his longest kick award and in a win for one of the good guys, Nobba picked up the raffle for a Gary Ablett signed Cats jumper.

We piled onto the bus and headed back to our 2 star palace for a couple of coldies, next stop was The Village Bar for dinner. It was then that Zac got the call we all dread at this point….’the baby sitter has fallen through, you’ll have to come home’. So as we steadied ourselves for the night ahead, the AK Homes utility pulled out of the car park for the lonely dash back south. A tricky line here, an obvious $2 but who will have the low hanging fruit to take on next year’s Fines Master ?

The function room looked the goods and as we dined on crab, chicken or ribs (or in Big Chris’s case, all three) and the martinis flowed like…..well, like martinis if your name is Steve “Chuck Norris” Mayberry cos he didn’t touch anything from a tap all weekend. Maybs, Barbs, Muzz, Wal and Kev all spoke very well and the group headed onto the casino for another night of revelry.

The Groove Bar got another visit with a surprise addition being Splinter’s lovely wife Bec finding her way into the cut and thrust of celebrations which is a first in Dinosaur history. Her effort to disguise herself as Esme Watson of A Country Practice just to get by her boys side without detection on a boys trip was commendable but ultimately failed when Splinter needed to explain by he was allowing a pensioner to feel him up.

As the sun rose the next morning, we could hear 40 singing the Gero boy’s preso song……

Here’s to Shagga, he’s alright HE’LL DRINK PISS ALL NIGHT ! (and he probably did which was a fair effort given it was the last night in a trilogy from Thurs training for our larrikin bush ranger + 5 games thru the day just quietly)

Great trip in 2017 and see you at training if anyone can move again by then…..think ya can go a bit easy on the cartons Hoggs.

Next stop is Wharton World at The Hall of Fame where Murray becomes one of the immortals of masters footy.

#23

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